Why The Heck Couldn’t I Have A Normal Kid?!

Yeah, I said it. I know it’s not politically correct and doesn’t align with my whole gratitude attitude shift but it’s the truth. Having a child that is “outside of the box” is a pain in the butt. I would like to enjoy one week free of crying, violent outbursts and calls from the teacher at the nursery school he attends. But I can’t. I would like to know what it is like to direct a child to do something without an inappropriate response almost every single time. But I don’t. I would like to experience shopping in a store without rushing out to address one of my son's major meltdowns. But that hasn't happened since he was a newborn. Having a "special needs" child can be a lonely place for a parent. Although the level of support for these children has increased over the years within the educational infrastructure, there is still a stigma attached to the label that causes family members to ignore signs, assume you're an inadequate parent, who just can't control her child, and discourage you from seeking professional help. You begin to think, perhaps, you are the problem and by somehow becoming a better parent you can rewire the circuitry in your child's brain that causes his behavior. But that is not the case. What happens in the womb is a miracle beyond our understanding and the fact is that something is wrong with each of us. In my son's case, the something is ADHD (so I've been told by three professionals). The advice I've been given? Well, everything from signing him up for sports to giving him medication to hitting him on the bottom with a spoon. I honestly wish I just didn't have this one more thing to deal with. Seriously, I thought being a grown up meant I would get to eat Frosted Flakes for dinner, hang out with friends my parents would never approve of and paint my room purple. Instead, I'm stuck with making decisions for a child that will either work or ruin his life. This sucks! I'm not prepared, I'm not ready and I didn't sign up for this. Today, after talking to staff members at my son's new school, who were of no help at all, repeatedly telling me, "we can't give an opinion ..." (code for, "not my kid, not my problem") I wanted to sit and my cubicle and have my own temper tantrum. I now realize why the informational websites tell you to be your own advocate for your child, do your own research and make your own decisions. In other words, you're a grown up now. Deal with it!